🌸 Expansion Through Self-Love: Healing the Wound of “Not Enough”

By Kim Herman
Holistic Trauma Therapist · Naturopath trained · Spiritual Teacher · Holistic Healer
www.kimherman.com

You don’t have to earn your worth to expand into the life you desire

For many of us, “expansion” evokes images of stepping onto bigger stages, opening our hearts wider, and living lives that feel five shades brighter.
Yet the single belief that quietly blocks that growth is the lingering wound that whispers, I am not enough.

It lives in the body—etched into the nervous system and the subconscious mind—shaping every decision we make.
As a Holistic Transformation Therapist and coach, I’ve watched countless women bump against this invisible ceiling, preventing them from living the life they want to live.

The great news is, this wound can heal.
And self-love is the medicine that helps us grow beyond it.

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”
— Rumi

🌼 Where the Wound Begins

The “not enough” story rarely starts in adulthood.
It usually begins in childhood:
a raised eyebrow when we showed emotion,
a teacher’s off-hand comment,
a parent’s silent expectation of perfection.

In those seemingly ordinary experiences, the nervous system learned that love and approval were conditional.
The subconscious formed a conclusion to keep us safe:
If I want to belong, I must be more, do more, please more.

Over time, that conclusion hardens into a belief… then a personality trait… and for some, it shapes our entire lives.

🌷 Contraction vs Expansion

Beliefs don’t just live in the mind; they impact our whole life — how we show up in the world.

Contraction shows up as tight shoulders, shallow breath, insomnia, saying yes when your body screams no, or hustling for credentials you don’t even want.
Expansion feels different. There’s a spacious chest, a steady breath, and a quiet confidence that says, “My worth is inherent.”

Self-love and knowing you are enough is the bridge between those two states.

“Worthy now. Not if. Not when. We are worthy of love and belonging now. Right this minute. As is.”
— Brené Brown

🌿 Why Affirmations Alone Fall Short

Many clients arrive having tried mindset work and positive affirmations.
While those tools can be helpful, surface-level techniques often sit on top of a deeper wound.

The subconscious guides around 95% of our daily behaviours.
If that level still stores the charge of “not enough,” affirmations feel like a bandaid put on top of the wound.

That’s why my Freedom Protocol sessions combine:

• Nervous system regulation

• Subconscious reprogramming

• Gentle somatic release

We clear the emotional charge first — then install nourishing beliefs that actually stick.

🌻 A Self-Love Expansion Practice You Can Try

Here’s a simple three-step practice you can start today to soften the “not enough” story:

1. Feel.
   Place one hand on your heart and the other on your belly. Ask,
   “Where does ‘not enough’ live in my body today?”
   Don’t analyse—just notice.

2. Breathe and Soften.
   Inhale for a count of 4, exhale for 6.
   Longer exhales tell the body it’s safe.
   Imagine the breath as warm light gently softening what you felt.

3. Re-choose.
   Whisper:
   “I don’t have to earn my right to exist.
   What if I choose to remember my inherent worth now?
   What if I knew at my core I am enough exactly as I am?”

Repeat daily for two weeks.
Journal what changes.
This is how we teach both body and subconscious to open, rather than brace.

🌸 A Real-Life Example

One of my clients, Alison, came to me after years of perfectionism.
On paper, she was successful — but inside, she felt hollow.

Together, we traced the root back to a 7-year-old version of her that only received praise when her report card was full of A’s.
Through our work, Alison was able to meet that child within with unconditional love and release the emotions that had built up over decades.

Within weeks, her posture shifted, her mood improved, and she said no to draining projects.
She signed up for the art class she’d wanted for years and found a deeper connection with her husband.

Expansion didn’t require her to do more — it asked her to embrace herself more deeply.

💖 Self-Love in Action

Self-love isn’t fluffy.
It’s the daily act of making your body feel safe enough to open again.

It might look like:

• Setting boundaries

• Speaking kindly to yourself in the mirror

• Feeding your body nourishing food

• Getting support that meets you at the root level

✨ Expansion Isn’t Selfish — It’s Service

When one woman remembers her worth, the ripple is real.
Children witness healthy self-esteem.
Partners experience deeper connection.
Workplaces gain more heart-led leadership.

Expansion through self-love is never selfish — it’s sacred.

🌺 Your Next Step

If something in this article stirred something in you… trust that.

You don’t have to carry the weight of “not enough” alone.
And healing can be quicker and gentler than you might think.

In my private sessions and healing retreats, we gently clear emotional residue from the subconscious, nervous system, and energy body… so you can expand into the life your heart already knows is possible.

Reclaiming your worth is the most radical act of growth.

About the Author

Kim Herman is a Holistic Transformation Therapist & Trauma Healing Coach who blends subconscious healing, nervous system regulation, and spiritual tools to help women release emotional residue and live from deep self-worth.

Based in Perth, Kim helps women all over the world move from pain to power in a grounded, practical, and loving way.

🌐 www.kimherman.com
📧 kim@kimherman.com
📞 0422 140 525
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You don’t need to wait for the “perfect moment” to heal.
You just need one breath, one pause, one decision.
Emotional momentum builds with each courageous step you take toward yourself.