Smart Negotiation: How to Communicate, Listen, and Win Together
SMART NEGOTIATION: COMMUNICATE, LISTEN, AND ACHIEVE WIN-WINS
Negotiation is not just about contracts and boardrooms—it happens in everyday life, from discussing household responsibilities to navigating relationships. Yet, many people, especially women, hesitate to negotiate for what they need, fearing conflict or rejection.
The good news? Negotiation is a skill you can learn and master, particularly when you pair it with the often-overlooked art of listening. Here are some tips for how you can step up, show up, and negotiate with confidence.
PREPARE WITH CLARITY
Before entering any negotiation, be clear on what you want and why. Write down your non-negotiables (things you won’t compromise on) and your flexible areas (aspects you are willing to discuss). This not only boosts confidence but also ensures that you do not get caught off guard in the conversation.
Pro Tip: Rehearse your key points with a trusted friend or even in front of a mirror. Saying your requests out loud helps them feel more natural when the moment arrives.
Let us never negotiate out of fear. But let us never fear to negotiate - John F. Kennedy
LISTEN BEFORE YOU SPEAK
Some people worry that preparing what they want to say might stop them from truly listening. However, preparation does not mean rigidly sticking to a script—it allows you to stay present and flexible in the moment.
When you have a clear sense of your needs and boundaries, you are less likely to feel overwhelmed or triggered in the conversation. This helps you engage more openly and adapt to what the other person is saying.
Many negotiations fail because people focus too much on what they will say next rather than truly listening to the other party.
Many of my clients want a script when we talk about a situation they are preparing for. I generally suggest listening and asking questions first before jumping in with prepared points.
Active listening allows you to understand the other person’s needs, find common ground, and respond effectively.
Do This: Instead of jumping in with your response, pause for a few seconds after the other person speaks.
Repeat back what you heard in your own words or ask a question to clarify a point before you offer your perspective.
One of the best ways to persuade others is by listening to them - Dean Rusk
FRAME THE CONVERSATION POSITIVELY
Approach negotiations with a win-win mindset rather than a battle to be won.
Use phrases like:
How can we find a solution that works for both of us?
I appreciate your perspective. Let’s explore an option that meets both our needs.
By showing respect and openness, you reduce defensiveness and increase the likelihood of reaching a successful agreement.
The better you are at communicating, negotiating, and handling your fear of
rejection, the easier life is - Robert Kiyosaki
KNOW WHEN TO WALK AWAY
Confidence in negotiation comes from knowing that & “no deal” is better than a bad deal.
If the conversation is not heading in a productive direction, have a backup plan.
Walking away from an unfavourable negotiation is a sign of strength, not failure.
Reminder: Have alternative options in mind before you begin negotiating.
This reduces pressure and allows you to make clearer decisions.
FOLLOW UP AND STRENGTHEN RELATIONSHIPS
Negotiation does not end when an agreement is made. Follow up to ensure that all parties follow through. Even if an agreement wasn’t reached, maintaining a positive relationship leaves the door open for future opportunities.
Do This: Send a short message summarising key points discussed and next steps. This builds trust and keeps everyone accountable.
Everything is negotiable. Whether or not the negotiation is easy is another thing - Carrie Fisher
NEGOTIATING AS A PARENT: WHEN RULES ARE NON-NEGOTIABLE
Negotiating in the workplace or with peers is one thing, but when it comes to parenting, the rules change. Some boundaries are simply non-negotiable, especially when they involve safety, well-being, and family values.
While listening and understanding your child’s perspective is important, clear rules and consequences provide structure and security. (Negotiating with a teenager, now that’s a whole new article…)
The key to balancing negotiation and parenting is to listen and acknowledge your child’s feelings, while reinforcing clear, firm boundaries where necessary. Not everything can (or should) be up for discussion!
Always go into meetings or negotiations with a positive attitude. Tell yourself you’re going to make this the best deal for all parties. - Natalie Massenet
Negotiation is a skill you can easily develop with preparation and practice. By combining clear goals, active listening, and positive framing, you can confidently step into any negotiation—whether it’s discussing a raise, setting boundaries with your children, or improving your relationship with your partner.
If you want to dive deeper?
Download my free 10 Steps to Better Listening!
Email: angela@angelaheise.com
Phone: 0408 400 789
Website: https://angelaheise.com/
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