Navigating Motherhood After 40
MOTHERHOOD AFTER 40: A JOURNEY OF RESILIENCE AND LOVE.
Being a mama at any age can be challenging adjustment, but stepping into motherhood after 40 brings its own unique set of experiences.
You’ve lived a full life – maybe you’ve built a career, travelled the world or faced a long journey of infertility before finally meeting your little blessing.
By this time, your friends may have already raised their little ones, leaving you to navigate the joys and challenges of motherhood in a way that can feel socially isolating - or maybe you’ve found your village, a mother’s group that lifts you up and supports you.
No matter what your circumstances are, being a mama means navigating sleepless nights, emotional and physical expectations, and the unpredictability of raising a child requiring flexibility and resilience that you’ve never had to possess until now. Today, I want to focus on one key challenge all parents face: sleep.
It's not a sleep regression - it's a sleep progression.
I am flexible and resilient. I am everything my child needs.
WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF BABY SLEEP
Understanding how our bodies - and our little one’s bodies - sleep is the essential ingredient for a good night’s sleep. When we learn the science of sleep, we can embrace its unpredictability with resilience and flexibility.
As a mama of four kiddos I’ve lived through these challenges and know how valuable it is to have guidance along the way. I want to give you my cheat sheet, the knowledge I wish I had with baby #1.
UNDER-TIRED VS. OVERTIRED: FINDING THE BALANCE
What is ‘Under-Tired’?
Under-tiredness is what happens when your little one hasn’t been awake long enough to build a natural sleep drive. Without this drive, you might find that they will resist bedtime or seem unsettled. Using awake windows as a guide, together with your little one’s sleepy cues, can help avoid this and make bedtime smoother.
What About ‘Overtired’?
Contrary to popular belief, skipping naps or keeping little ones up late doesn’t always mean better sleep at night. I remember being one of those parents who thought, “If I keep the kids up late, they’ll sleep in!” I did this more times than I’d like to admit.
And every single time, they would wake up at their normal time - 6:30am, bright and early.
The late nights didn’t make them sleep in, but it did disrupt their daytime rhythm, leaving them grumpy and overtired.
Little did I know that this overtired-ness would then make bedtime so much harder. I can’t tell you how many nights I spent feeling frustrated, wondering why they wouldn’t go to bed!
When babies surpass their sleepy stage, their cortisol levels spike, making it harder to settle and leading to restless nights. Watching for sleepy cues and responding with flexibility can help prevent overtired meltdowns - and make bedtime smoother for everyone.
Flexibility is Key
Every child has their own unique rhythm and sleep needs. Awake windows and sleepy cues are tools, they are not a ‘don’t step outside of this or you’ll ruin everything’ rule. Life happens - appointments, errands, and plans can interrupt sleep schedules, and that’s ok! Knowing this and preparing yourself mentally to handle overtired moments meant that you can embrace flexibility and resilience.
You don’t have to do it all—just what actually moves you forward.
EVERY CHILD’S RHYTHM IS UNIQUE – FLEXIBILITY AND RESILIENCE ARE KEY.
What About Sleep Regressions?
You’ve probably heard people warn about sleep regressions, often saying something like, “Your baby is sleeping well now, but just wait until the {insert age in months} regression hits!” But I’d like to offer a different perspective - a more positive and empowering one.
Your baby is growing, developing, and learning every day, and sleep is a big part of that process. What many call a “regression” I lovingly call a progression - a sign that your little one is hitting new milestones.
Motherhood is about embracing the chaos.
The 4-Month Sleep Progression
Around 3-5 months, babies transition from newborn sleep, which consists of just two sleep cycles, to a more mature sleep cycle.
This shift can feel disruptive, moving your baby from sleeping well to waking more often. But in reality, your baby is learning how to sleep, and during this time, they may need your help to master these sleep skills.
Milestones and Separation Anxiety
As your baby grows, other factors can also affect their sleep.
●At 8-9 months, separation anxiety may surface, making it harder to put them down or resettle during the night.
●Milestones like rolling, crawling, or pulling up can disrupt sleep because their brain needs extra REM sleep to consolidate these skills.
Without enough practice during the day, your baby might even try practicing these milestones at night - cue those restless nights!
Instead of seeing these moments as setbacks, embrace them as progress. Your baby is growing, learning, and thriving, and their sleep patterns will reflect that. Progressions can feel challenging, but they’re a beautiful reminder that your little one is reaching new heights every day.
By reframing regressions as progressions, you can approach these moments with patience, positivity, and confidence. Don’t forget, this journey is about growth - for both of you!
EVERY CHILD’S RHYTHM IS UNIQUE – FLEXIBILITY AND RESILIENCE ARE KEY.
Download My Free Awake Times Guide
Get my free guide to learn more about awake windows and how to better understand your little one’s sleep needs.
I am a registered nurse, lactation consultant, sleep consultant and early childhood professional. With both my professional and personal experience I bring evidence-based, gentle, no ‘cry-it-out’ methods to help you move toward better sleep.
I meet you and your family where you are at, zero judgement.
Find your village and hold them close.
