🌿 Emotional Numbness Isn’t Peace How to Nurture Emotional Awareness After Trauma
By Kim Herman
Holistic Trauma Therapist & Author
Specialising in shifting perceptions to heal trauma through mindfulness, heart coherence, and advanced therapeutic techniques
💬 You’re not broken… you’re numb.
And that’s a sign of survival, not failure.
There’s a stage in the trauma response cycle that doesn’t always get talked about. It’s the one where you’re functioning, but you’re flat.
You’re not in fight-or-flight.
You’re not having panic attacks or outbursts.
But you’re not really feeling, either.
You’re just… getting through.
For many women I work with, this space of emotional numbness feels safer than the chaos they’ve previously lived in.
It can feel like calm. Like peace.
But in truth, it’s a survival mechanism—a way the nervous system protects us from overwhelm by disconnecting us from our emotional body.
And while it may feel better than the storm, numbness is not the same as healing.
🌧️ Why Numbness Happens
When we experience ongoing stress, trauma, or emotional neglect (especially in childhood), our body learns that feeling is dangerous.
It’s not a conscious decision.
It’s the subconscious saying:
“This is too much.”
So instead of anger, grief, joy, or vulnerability, we feel… nothing.
We shut down.
We “cope.”
We become high-functioning, hyper-independent women who hold it all together, but feel totally disconnected from ourselves.
If this sounds familiar, please know this:
There’s nothing wrong with you. You haven’t failed.
You’ve adapted.
Your body has been doing an incredible job of keeping you safe — in the only way it knew how.
đź’— But the next stage of healing?
It’s about learning how to safely come back to yourself.
To feel safe... to feel again.
"Numb the dark and you numb the light." — Brené Brown
🌸 Coming Back to Feeling — Gently
Emotional awareness doesn’t mean drowning in your feelings.
It means creating enough safety in your body and mind to allow your emotions to rise…
And to move through them with compassion instead of fear.
This is deep nurturing work.
It starts with tiny things:
Pausing to notice how your body feels in a moment of stress
Asking, “What am I really feeling underneath this reaction?”
Giving yourself permission to cry — without needing to explain or justify it
In my practice, I guide women through this reconnection gently, at their own pace.
We use a combination of:
Subconscious belief work
Somatic awareness
Nervous system support
All wrapped in compassion, not pressure.
You can’t force your heart to open.
But you can create the conditions for it to feel safe enough to try.
✨ Signs You’re Ready to Reconnect Emotionally
If you’re reading this and sensing that numbness has been your default, but you’re starting to crave more…
More aliveness, more connection, more truth—
That’s a powerful sign your system is ready.
Here are some clues you might be ready:
You’re tired of going through the motions
You feel disconnected, even in relationships that “should” feel good
You miss the parts of yourself that used to feel passionate, playful, or expressive
You sense that there’s grief, anger, or joy buried under the surface… but you don’t know how to access it
"Healing begins when we feel safe enough to feel." — Gabor Maté
🌱 You don’t have to stay disconnected to stay strong.
Coming back to your emotions after trauma is brave work.
It takes time.
It takes gentleness.
But it’s also the most beautiful act of self-nurturing you can offer yourself.
Because when you feel again — truly feel —
You begin to live again.
And that’s when real healing happens.
🤝 Need a safe space to start?
If you’d like support reconnecting with the woman beneath the numbness, I’d be honoured to walk that journey with you.
There’s no pressure—just a safe, honest space to begin feeling again.
"You cannot heal what you cannot feel." — John Bradshaw
Kim Herman
đź’» kimherman.com
📧 kim@kimherman.com
đź“ž 0422 140 525
Holistic Trauma Therapist
Naturopath trained • Spiritual teacher • Holistic healer
